Brender married Joseph, a 25 year old man, at the young age of 14 – something quite common in the communities and villages of Malawi. Brender, like many young girls who did not have the opportunity to receive an education, married because this was a way to survive.

They were married in 1998, a year after Joseph’s first wife died of AIDS. Joseph had one son from his first marriage. When Brender married Joseph she had no idea that his first wife had died of AIDS. Brender and Joseph had three children of their own – Tomas, Mphatso and Tiyesele.

In 2004 Mphatso, who was 2 years old, became very ill. When her mother took her to the hospital, the doctors told her that Mphatso had meningitis. After being hospitalized for a month the little girl died. Though grieved by this loss, the family returned to some semblance of normalcy.

In 2007 Brender began to constantly feel weak and tired. She was also losing weight at an alarming rate. A visit to the hospital confirmed her worst fears; she was HIV positive. The doctor also advised her to bring her two remaining children to the hospital for an AIDS test.  Tiyesele who was only 3 years old, and Tomas who was 9, were also found to be HIV positive. By May 2008 they were all on ARV medication.

Brender’s husband Joseph refuses to acknowledge the fact that his wife and her children are HIV positive. He himself refuses to be tested because as he says “I am healthy”. Because of this, he refuses to use condoms as per the hospital’s instructions, and Brender is pregnant once again.

Gina, an HBC volunteer, found Brender in December of 2008. Gina was visiting one of her patients named Felesta. Felesta is HIV positive and has cancer in her leg. After Gina’s visit, Felesta asked her to check in on her neighbour as she too was very sick. Gina found Brender so sick and weak she was unable to walk.

As Brender and Gina talked, Brender voiced her concerns to Gina. “I am so worried about my children, having other children, and exposing them to the possibility of being born with HIV/AIDS. The only out I see is to divorce Joseph because he behaves like this is not happening to us. But who will support me if I get divorced? I rely totally on Joseph.” Her anger at her husband for infecting her and bringing this trial into their family while refusing to even acknowledge it, was obvious. Brender hurts because she cannot even talk about it to him. Every time she brings it up, Joseph gets angry and an argument ensues.

When Gina found Brender, she had not taken her medication because she had not eaten. She was to weak to cook, and there was nobody to cook for her. So Gina, like many HBC volunteers, began to visit Brender three times a week to care for her and cook for her. As Brender began to eat she became strong enough to take her medication, and to begin to care for her family.

Gina still checks on Brender, making sure the children are okay, and encouraging her. Though her circumstances are very difficult, she is encouraged to know that God is mindful of her, to believe that God, who sees all things, watches over her and where it looks impossible with man, it is possible with God!

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